Raelyns Roulette: CORONAVIRUS - THOUGHTS & FEELINGS

April 11, 2020

CORONAVIRUS - THOUGHTS & FEELINGS



Look, if you are meant to get it, you will get it. If you are meant to not get it, you won't. It is the same as if you are meant to get this or that..then so be it. We all know how to practice preventions and that is the best you can do, the rest is in God's hands so pass that anxiety and stress onto him. 

At first, I was fine. I only allowed about 30 minutes watching the news to educate myself. Then, early February when the COVID-19 started to really hit home I had my first toothache. I couldn't tolerate amox given from my dentists  I went to Urgent Care to get something easier (my dentist wasn't allowing patients by this time). Naturally, I left Urgent Care with what would be a FLU, I didn't panic and stayed away from the news; Just when I started feeling better, I got a fever and was getting the chills, hot sweats, and naturally I started freaking out. I was a week late with you know what and intuitively knew with all that was going on my body was just reacting. Now, I have dealt with depression for about 4 years now and anxiety/full blown panic attacks since I was 6yd that usually lasted 12 hours straight at least. I feel like my time as a blogger working from home and caring for Landon and myself in the cold and flu seasons have taught me how to be a homebody. I have struggled with the fact I have no control over leaving our home along with social distancing. If you are newly experiencing anxiety or panic attacks, I recommend a few sips of wine, or Benadryl, or  Unisom (I personally take that vs. my medicine sometimes). If you are struggling with new depression thoughts, try to remember this is normal and open up about it to get through  this time that will pass. I'll link my outfit details below for anyone who is looking to get straight to the point of a comfortable pair of soft pants and sweaters. :)


*Brands, I am aware these images are far from my usual quality, it was windy + cold, the beginning of quarantine, and it was my niece's 4th Birthday. My sweet niece-in-Mexican Law (we treat each other as family) offered to snap a few photos for my Windsor outfit. This took place before quarantine fully hit. Chris came home from orders a couple days before the restaurants were shut down from eating inside and we were able to have a nice lunch as a family in our favorite hometown, Pasadena (aka the suburbs of Downtown LA). I truly believe this is happening for a reason. It's as though the entire world is on a reset button. I have nowhere near as much time for social media posts or blog posts as I am homeschooling Landon. I had finally got to a time where I balanced social media as my business and my mental health before all of this went down. Seeing other husband's home and families together had been getting to me for so long. Living on/off as a single-married spouse/Mother is LONELY AF. A deeper lonely where if anyone really hugged me, I forgot what it was like. The silver lining is, I am doing what I never thought I'd be faced with..A TEACHER and full on stay at home mom yet, I'm doing it. Through the depression episodes, panic attacks, and Landon going stir crazy.
I still reside close to my family and now that the few friends I had left moved away, the timing is  perfect. My eldest sister, Marina is pregnant (I was in charge of the gender reveal), my middle sister Adrienne's daughter has this sister/brother connection with Landon and we do safe play dates, and my Mom and Dad get to see their grandkids (though we all wash our hands non-stop and lysol the heck out of their house since they are 59-60yd).
It is just baffling how Chris and I have teamed up like we did our first year of marriage. We had a mattress, dresser, a TV from the 90s', and a fridge. We worked opposites schedules and used a USB to watch shows. What we have now is a luxury and this is what it took to realize it. We eat what's available. Chris didn't grow up poor but because of his military experience, food is food. I grew up sleeping next to rats and eating soggy tuna sandwiches everyday for lunch at school while the other kids brought a damn 3-course meal. Chris and I are learning we can overcome this time together as best as possible. Since we have been buying whatever we can and making 'Lemonade out of Lemons' it has proved another level of another life full of lessons, together or apart. We are getting creative in the kitchen with what's left at the grocery store. 

No comments:

Post a Comment

 

site design by kelly christine studio