Raelyns Roulette

April 12, 2018


April 09, 2018


The topic is pun intended in regards to the color of my top. It's April and I feel like I have nothing to show for this year. Depression..it sneaks up on you. I have never been clinically depressed but I came to this conclusion a few weeks ago while on a urgent call with my doctor. Once I opened up about the thoughts that had been running through my head with loved ones, they had no idea. Just like I had no idea when some confessed they have been where I am, and assured me it will pass. I did cry for help, I became scared of myself and wanted everyone who I knew cared about me to know. I wanted them to know so they could be patient with me while I fight this...and I will fight this and these dark non-stop, selfish, and ugly thoughts. That's why I am writing about it right here on this small domain, that's mine. My little voice in this big huge world I feel I've become invisible to. Still, I know I am not alone and I strongly urge any of my readers/audience/followers to reach out if you too are in this boat, I am a good listener. Thank you all as I know I have not been too active on social media or my website and you've noticed. 
I remember this day. All the stares and the iPhones being broken out snapping photos of me. I even had a few honks and kind women empowering me. I still felt so alone yet it was a Sunday and I was surrounded by people. Surprising right? I use to love jumping in front of the camera and showing new trends that I twisted into my own style. I felt productive and proud each time. Once I was done I got into my car and cried my make-up off. I ran late this day and didn't get to shoot all (5) looks. I stopped right there because I knew I was allowing the devil himself to get back into my head. I did accomplish (3) looks which USE to be so hard for me to knock-out in an hour and I somehow taught myself to do (5) head to toe outfits (including make-up). Now enough of this and let's talk fashion, the fire that ignites my heart and soul. 

April 06, 2018


I remember working at Forever 21 and the Visual Manager (at the time) teaching his team (three of us, including me) it's not possible to wear a flowy top and bottom. 
I recall putting my 2 cents in only to be laughed at. I continued listening out of humiliation (the team hated me and bullied me everyday). We have all heard opposites attract, right? Wrong. It's all about not staying safe and making it the clothes work. Make it your own and stand proud of your sense of style. I remember a stranger at Starbucks this day giving a compliment while stating the fact they would have never put the top and bottom together. I felt like fashion inspiration, I had a moment. Kind of like when you're scrolling on Pinterest and hit that save button to one of your boards. 😂


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